The Idolm@ster: Dearly Stars – Not my kind of game

15.02.12 / Japanese, Namco, Nintendo DS, Simulation game, Video game, Visual novel / Author: / Comments: (0)
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Just finished Hidaka Ai’s route. Meh. Just glad it’s over, that’s all.

Dearly Stars disappointed me in nearly every aspect I could think of:

As a raising/life sim

There are only three stats to manage, plus tiredness. All of them are very easy to raise and keep high. You’d expect that as a teenaged idol you’d have to balance your school life with performances while finding time for training and taking care of your health and getting enough food and rest, that sort of thing, but there are no schedules to worry about or deadlines to meet in Dearly Stars. When you have an audition lined up, your rivals and the organizers will wait as many days and weeks as it takes for you to get your act together. There’s no tension at all.

As a music/rhythm game

Dearly Stars is a game about a musician, but it’s not really a music game, per se. What music there is is pretty bad, the songs your idol can sing are fixed, as are her dance and vocal performances for each one. The player’s involvement consists of picking out outfits, adding a few moves and helping her “memorize” lyrics and “learn” dances through minigames. After all that effort, though, your idol’s success in auditions still depends entirely on luck. You might as well not even bother.

I’m not a fan of cutesy-poppy idol music in general, and Ai’s voice grated on me. The same songs sung by the other playable idols are slightly more bearable. Ryo has a soothing, boyish voice (for a trap anyway) and Eri’s voice is high and sweet, but Ai is just loud, bordering on screechy. Quite a disappointing experience.

As a dress-up game

Idols are supposed to be cute and fashionable, right? Right, Namco? Oh, you didn’t get the memo? Ah, that explains why your idols only have three outfits with a few palette swaps, some ratty-looking accessories and no hairstyle changes at all, eh? There’s no way to buy outfit or accessories either, you have to wait till Sunday and pray a fan sends you one. Just how poor is Studio 876 anyway?

As a minigame collection

The bulk of the “gameplay” consists of using the touchscreen and stylus to give Ai “lessons” through mini-games. To improve your Vocal skills, you have to fill in missing lyrics in hiragana as in the screenshot on the right. To raise Visual expression, you have to tap little smiley faces (I hate that game) and for Dance skills you have to tap out the correct steps when they particular mark. It’s hard to explain.

I appreciated having something to do other than read long conversations and listen to bad music, and the games even grew on me after a while. It’s just that it’s the same three mini-games from beginning to end. No new games, no new levels, no added difficulty, no surprises. Plus Ai just won’t shut up during them, so you’re playing the same things, getting the same results and hearing the same loud comments throughout the game. And at the end of the day none of your hard work even matters, because the auditions are largely down to luck and probability. Waste of effort.

As a visual novel

The point of the Idolm@ster games, as far as I can tell, is to chronicle the rise of an idol from a nobody to a superstar. To make them more interesting, each girl (or trap) has her own story that plays out over the course of the game. Ai’s story is that her mother is a retired famous idol and so she grew up with a complex about it. As the game goes along, her mother returns to the entertainment world and challenges her, and they have a great showdown at the end of it all.

Good, that’s all well and nice. It’s a bit of a shame that I have to compete with her, because IMO her mom Mai is the greater star. We never get to see her perform, but from what I can see, Mai has better looks, a better sense of style, greater charisma, greater magnetism and just all-around greater “star power.” Ai’s just a loud noisy kid with everyday looks, a squeaky grating voice, average dancing skills and a large head. Hmm, then again apart from the large head part, I just described Japan’s reigning queen of pop Ayumi Hamasaki, so maybe Namco’s on to something here.

That’s just an aside, back to the story. Little things that make visual novels more comfortable to play, like quick saves, quick loading and text-skipping are missing. When you talk to someone and a choice comes up and you get it wrong, they don’t tell you what you did wrong so you can fix it next time. Then there’s the usual bullshit answer choices based purely on guesswork. E.g. “What were you doing?” A. Looking at the boats B. Looking at the sea C. Looking at the whales. Okay, you might guess that C is a little over the top, but why is B “correct” and A “wrong”? And why does it matter what I was looking at, wtf?

That’s all minor stuff though. Major problems, I had two. First one: the Stranger’s Family Reunion issue. This is where the game takes that are new and foreign to the player for granted. Along the way, you’ll meet other idols like Haruka, Yukiho, Makoto, Ami, Azusa and Makoto that Ai gushes over like they’re the greatest stars on the planet. These events mean nothing to me because I don’t know any of these people. Maybe they’re from previous games or the anime, but how should I know and why should I care?

So anyway, the game goes along, and Ai competes against some of them and gets down on herself on how they’re so much better than her in terms of looks, singing ability, energy etc. It’s easy enough to believe because Ai sucks so much, but still, how should I know? That where the second problem comes in: Show, Don’t Tell. Show us their performances, let us hear them sing, let me decide for myself if they’re that awesome or not, don’t make up my mind for me.

Quite frankly, the construction of the game makes these “super-idols” look terrible anyway. If they’re so famous and fantastic, how can Ai stumble her way through the auditions and fall flat on her face several times while performing the same tired songs in the same tired clothes and still beat them handily every time. If I was a fan of those older idols, I’d be quite pissed.

What’s more, since it’s so hard to believe they’re any good at all, the parts of the story that focus on  helping Ai work through her inferiority complex and beat these glamorous idols (i.e. the whole game) come across as false and disingenuous. It makes Ai seem like a fraud, like she’s being falsely modest and fishing for compliments when she puts herself down. I just can’t get into a story like that.

Of course, the one time when they did show something, it was completely unimpressive. They make a huge fuss about Hidaka Mai’s hit song “ALIVE” being the greatest song ever, and when you finally get to hear it, it’s a shitty Disney-type ballad. Poorly delivered by Ai’s voice actress to boot, like all the other songs before it. That one I could have done without.

Putting my doubts about the way the story was delivered to one side, I must also take issue with the story itself. Not with the ultimate goal of overcoming her mother’s legacy. That part is fine. It’s all the people she faces along the way I have a problem with. They’re not just talentless idols, they’re also lame characters. Why the heck are they so friendly and helpful to their rival? They’re all so eager to compete with her on an even level. They give her advice, they cheer her up when she’s down, they accept their losses like champs.

Damn it, how am I supposed to feel good about my progress when they’re all so kind and generous and my character is a no-talent loudmouth bobblehead? As a result of their cookie-cutter uniform niceness, the only person who did show a bit of personality, Hidaka Mai, became by far the most exciting person in the game. Instead of being all sugar and spice, she could be catty, boastful, playful, mean and crazy in turn. It’s sad when the “last boss” of the game is the one you’re most rooting for by the end.

Conclusion

Whew. I sure wrote a lot for a game I didn’t even enjoy all that much. This is where I add my “It wasn’t that bad” disclaimer, and it’s true, it wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t that good either, and the longer it dragged on, the more “not that good” it got. An Idolm@ster with more things to do, better songs, a more likeable main character and a more colorful supporting staff might be a really good game.

I don’t know if the other Idolm@ster games where you play a producer instead of the idol themselves are better at resolving these issues, but I’m not in the mood to find out. I got to see for myself what Idolm@ster is all about, and I’ll have to be satisfied with that.

On to the next game!

Hayate no Gotoku: Boku ga Romeo de, Romeo ga Boku de (2)

13.01.12 / Japanese, Konami, Nintendo DS, Romance game, Video game, Visual novel / Author: / Comments: (20)
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Yes, even monkeys fall from trees. And even normally careful gamers forget to keep backup saves and accidentally overwrite precious New Game+ data with an actual new game save.

In most games this wouldn’t be a problem because each route would be (mostly) separate. But in Hayate no Gotoku, the only way to unlock Maria as a romantic partner is to clear all the other girls. No cleared save data = No Maria. No Maria = No point in continuing. And I just had Isumi to go before getting her, what a pity.

On to the next game!

 

Gokujou!! Mecha Mote Iinchou: Mecha Mote Days, Hajimemasu wa!

10.01.12 / Japanese, Konami, Nintendo DS, Simulation game, Video game, Visual novel / Author: / Comments: (0)
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Konami is the company responsible for some of my favorite games on the DS: Tokimemo GS 1-3, Lost in Blue 1-3 (moaaarr), and more. Even monkeys fall from trees, as the Japanese saying goes. And even good companies make bad games every once in a while. It’s when it’s every time that it becomes a problem (*cough* Nippon Ichi *cough*).

That being the case, I see no need to go on at length about Gokujou! Mecha Iinchou, the dress up game based on the popular shoujo manga/anime of the same name. It’s aimed at pre- and early teen girls, and I’m old enough to have kids that fit that description, so I’m not even the target demographic in the first place.

Plus the general rule of anime-based games is that they’re not for people who aren’t fans of the original. I couldn’t be arsed to check out the show, and even if I had I’m not sure I would have enjoyed it. It’s only natural that I couldn’t follow along, then.

The game: Your character is the class rep, and at the end of the year there’s a beauty contest of sorts for class reps. Your job is to shape her up over the course of the year so she can win that competition. I’ve been playing this on and off since around August, waiting for the big payoff, but when I think of all the other games I could be playing instead, it’s hard to justify spending time on this silliness. *toss*

It could have been good, if the game had given you a certain amount of freedom to shape your character as you saw fit. Since what we got in the end is a kiddy, pedestrian affair where you spend 90% of your time playing mini-games and listening to heavy-handed beauty lectures from your so-called rival while trying to fulfill easy monthly objectives, it’s barely even worth writing about.

A typical month goes like this: you have a trip to the beach planned. You go to school in the mornings (nothing much happens there). You do a few mini-games to earn cash, buy some beach-appropriate clothes, everyone gushes over how lovely you look, the end. Repeat with a different challenge the next month. If the graphics were any good, maaaaybe dressing up the main character would have been fun, but since everything is jagged,small and garishly colored, and the outfit designs are uniformly hideous… *toss*.

The description of the anime also says something about a “bad boy trio” your character has to deal with, but either they don’t exist in the game or they were all given lobotomies, because everyone fawns slavishly over you no matter what you do or wear. Your rival wants to, nay, insists on helping you achieve your goals every month, so you don’t even have the joy of sticking it to the usual snooty rival.

Summary: Good premise poorly executed. Story only fans care about. Dull gameplay. No autonomy. Servile characters. Awful graphics.

Conclusion: Bad game. Avoid like cancer. If you want to play a dress-up game on the DS, try something like the Oshare Princess games instead.

Hayate no Gotoku: Boku ga Romeo de, Romeo ga Boku de (1)

08.01.12 / Japanese, Konami, Nintendo DS, Romance game, Video game, Visual novel / Author: / Comments: (0)
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It’s been a while since my DS saw any action. And I’m a little disgusted with my PSP after that Blade Dancer experience, so for a change of mood I decided to play something lighter and funnier.

Hayate no Gotoku – Romeo ga Boku de, Boku ga Romeo is the first of three handheld games based on a shonen manga about a debt-ridden butler named Ayasaki Hayate. If you haven’t read it, I’m in two minds as to whether to recommend it or not. On one hand it’s a very funny, charming series with a great cast of characters, but on the other hand the story hasn’t gone anywhere in ages and even I have stopped reading it, so… Eh. The game is for fans only, so if you don’t know the series you can skip the rest of this post.

Since this game came out in 2007 before anything really earth-shattering happened in the manga (Greece arc, A-tan), it still has that silly, gag-filled atmosphere that drew me in in the first place. As such Romeo ga Boku is the kind of story that would work well as a filler episode in the anime. Hakuo Academy is going to stage a play, and one way or another Hayate is going to be cast as one of the leads together with one of  his many, many love interests. You have your choice of Nagi, Hinagiku, Ayumu, Sakuya, Isumi, Maria and a “secret character” (I’ll let you find out who that is).

The game is a visual novel 95% of the time, with the occasional save break that allows you to play mini-games to earn Pathos points. Pathos points can be used to unlock special outfits for the girls and also to unlock alternative answer choices during the main game. Apart from that you pick your girl, watch the scenes play out, pick an answer when given the option, hope you get a bad ending because those are hilarious and generally just make your way to the end of the game. Along the way you will also unlock voice clips and CGs that unfortunately I can’t show you because unlike the PSP, the DS does not have a screenshot plugin (I stole these ones from the internet).

Now then, although I normally dislike visual novels, the fact that the game features characters I already know and like, and the fact that each route is short and frequently funny has lead to me pouring more effort into this than I normally do with this kind of game. Right now I’ve gotten Nagi, Hinagiku and Ayumu’s endings. I just started Sakuya’s route and I’m kinda regretting it because I don’t like. But after her I’ll get Isumi, then finally Maria.

Hinagiku: Her play is “Snow White” and nothing much happens on her route until the end, where you have to battle your way up an RPG-style tower to rescue a puppy. She spends the whole play agonizing over what will happen during the kissing scene at the end, but then she panics so much that she sits up before Hayate can kiss her and the play ends there. Bummer. Hinagiku is as twitchy as ever, so her route has quite a few bad endings. That’s all part of the fun, of course.

Ayumu: She’s boring, so her route is boring too. At least she only has one Bad End. Her play is “Romeo and Juliet.” The “climax” of her story occurs when her father spots her practicing in the park at night with Hayate and sets his zombie coworkers on them. You might be wondering how Ayumu got to star in a Hakuo Academy play when she doesn’t even attend that school… well, don’t sweat the small stuff.

Yes, elephantiasis is a horrible disease.

Nagi: The most romantic of the three routes so far, because a magical statue actively tries to bring them together. Nagi’s play is “Cinderella.” Or more like Cinderella mixed with Dance Dance Revolution mixed with Fist of the North Star. Come on, it’s Nagi. The crisis on her route involves Nagi being kidnapped and held for ransom by the same guys that tried to hijack Sakuya’s ship way back when.

It’s been a while since I saw Nagi’s old mansion and bedroom, so this route was a nice trip down memory lane. Speaking of Nagi and her mansion, the realization Hayate would be a dick to end up with anyone else but the girl who loved him enough to throw away her zillion-dollar fortune is part of the reason why I stopped reading the manga. Foregone conclusions are no fun at all.

So that’s how far I’ve gotten. Graphically and musically this game isn’t much to write home about, but it’s cute and it’s funny and it helps pass the time, so that’s good enough for me. I am getting a leeetle bit tired though, especially of the “Tiger’s Den” scenes where Hayate has to try desperately to please these overly-sensitive girls. I might take a little break before continuing with the rest of the characters.