Ranshima Monogatari – Rare Land Story (3)

This should have been a post about Neo Angelique Special, but that game was so slow and tedious that it drove me back into the loving arms of Ranshima Monogatari, where I finally paired Hiro with both Somarina AND Guana and married Chilia to Rui like she’d always wanted.

Be careful what you wish for, the saying goes. I wanted Somarina’s ending, I got it, and now I’m sorry I ever saved her from the clutches of that slimy duke. I really thought she’d stop being so rude and condescending as she got closer and closer to Hiro, but it was not to be. She may love him but she doesn’t have a shred of respect for him, and it shows. The ending states that she went on to become a master painter and a master chef while Hiro was reduced to the role of her lowly assistant who probably doesn’t even get laid for his trouble. The look on his face says it all.

Even the wedding ceremony was ominous. At all the other weddings in this game the other characters come up and give you cheerful words of congratulations. With Somarina, Hiro got “You don’t know what you’re doing, man” and “Oh no, you poor thing” responses instead. Even from Somarina’s own brother!

Come to think of it, I know someone in real life who had an experience like that. Nobody dared to come out and say that her fiance was a dirtbag, so it was more like: “Are you sure about this? I mean, really sure?” and “Maybe you should postpone the wedding…for like a million years?” Luckily for her, the marriage lasted. 7 whole months, that is.

At least Chilia and Rui got a happier ending. She’d been going on about how cool he was since they first met, so it was only fitting that they end up together. Unfortunately, since Rui spent most of the game either out of sight or on the lam their romance didn’t get much development. And he outright states that part of his reason for marrying her is because as a new king in a weak position he needs to marry someone popular to get the citizens on his side.

But still, there’s no denying they have some chemistry, and they’re both really into each other. I didn’t raise Chilia all those years just to have her scrubbing toilets or marrying deadbeats like Milo, so this is just perfect. And if she throws the occasional kickback or government contract my way, hey, I ain’t complaining.

Back to the Somarina-Hiro ending, though. There’s a lot of down time in Somarina’s route as well, so I was wooing Guana on the side. I had a save two years in that I was keeping for later, but I was so disgusted with the way Somarina treated my boy that I loaded it up immediately afterwards and got Guana instead.

Again, I can see the chemistry in this pairing in a way I couldn’t with Somarina-Hiro. Guana respects and loves Hiro and he loves her back. Sure she has some daddy issues, but what girl doesn’t? Without her helmet she’s probably the best-looking girl in the game so yay Hiro! The description of their wedding ceremony was very sweet, I even “awww’d” a little bit.

Their ending states that Guana continues her work for a while after they get married then gets injured and retires, whereupon she becomes a bit of a shrew it seems. Still, Hiro is still happy and he still loves her so it’s all good for me.

Having gotten three wedding endings for Hiro, though, I must complain about one thing: the weddings are too sudden! Chilia gets a proper proposal every time someone wants her hand in marriage, but with Hiro it’s like he’s getting closer and closer to the girl… then there’s a sudden time leap and bam, wedding ending! Where’s the proposal? The bended knee? The ring? How many carats? These things are important!

What’s also missing and even more important: BABIES! There’s no mention of kids in these three endings! Where are my babies?! Or did Hiro’s trusty gun run out of bullets? Now granted, there were enough babies in the last round to fuel half a dozen endings, but that’s not the point here. I’ve played enough Harvest Moon games to know the drill: you woo the girl, you get married and you have a baby! Not having babies is not an option. It is not negotiable!

*huff huff* Phew… Had a bit of a mother-in-law turn there. *deep breath* Okay. All better now. What’s weird is that I don’t like kids that much in real life, but when it comes to video games marriage and babies are inseparable. Marvelous Entertainment has a lot to answer for.

What’s next on the gaming front? My list of unfinished games grows by the day. I’m playing Will O’ Wisp and Wizman’s World for the DS, and Persona, Blue Roses and Neo Angelique Special for the PSP. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I just started Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky a few hours ago. If nothing else it’s more promising than the previous two LoH games, but both the story and the system so far are a little too “normal” for me, so it’s going back on the shelf for now.

I’ll try not to start anything else until I’ve finished at least one of the above games, but I can’t promise anything.

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